Posted in Uncategorized

Stay With Me by Ayobami Adebayo

Can Love ever be enough?! “

-Ayobami Adebayo

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bt9bLkZnQUt/?igshid=11fhgmior08jt

Set in an African country, Nigeria, Akin and Yejide married for four years, without a child, live through experiences to get their one chance at happiness, but external and internal influence do not allow this hope to come to pass.

Ayobami is a budding writer, who spins a web so beautiful, encompassing so many themes, weaved into an easy to understand pattern. She has a way with words that challenges you to think and act right.

I heard about this book for a while and finally got to read it but nothing prepared me for the level of emotions I felt while reading. I went from anger, to angst, love, sacrifice, happiness, sadness, guilt, grief and hope so strong, I felt it all.

Themes explored in this book include infertility, tradition, family, lies, motherhood, pregnancy, health, arrogance of men, ego as well as the joys of womanhood(sarcasm intended😏). I loved how much health as a theme was really expressed, we are taken through three different scenarios, such an enlightening book.

We ask questions like : Why did Akin and Yejide pass through these experiences?

Why are they childless?

Did they deserve this?

How do we express grief? Is there a fixed amount of time to grieve your loved ones?

All these and more are answered in this intriguing, thought provoking, fast paced read, I finished it in half a day.

This book was The Readers Hut Book Club May read and we certainly had fun discussing this enlightening read.

Some lessons learnt: 1) In every relationship we should learn to be honest and open with our partners. Before marriage tell each other your flaws, inadequacies and all that, trust me lying or hiding things causes a whole lot of stress.

2) In your typical African home there will always be interference from family and friends, PROTECT your spouse, yeah I said that. Do not allow your family to run your home, that doesn’t mean you should alienate them but let’s endeavor to set boundaries🤗

3) Do not be an Island, you must not have many friends but you can have some dear friends, your sounding boards, your advicers(I’m here for you though😂😂)

You can tell I loved this book right?! It was a really good one!

Some quotes that spoke to me were these:

“It was as if nobody would miss her. No one was sorry that Olamide had died. They were sorry that I had lost a child, not that she had died. It was as though, because she had spent so little time in the world, it did not really matter that she was gone – she did not really matter. One would think we had lost a dog that was dear to our hearts.”

-Yejide

“I was not angry with my brother any more; already I was realising that all the rage had been an affectation. Something I’d reached for to use as a defence against shame. Anger is easier than shame.”

-Akin

“I closed my eyes when she suckled at my breast, careful not to make eye contact with her. I had the washerwoman come in every other day to wash the baby things. I was not strong enough to love when I could lose again, so I held her loosely, with little hope, sure that somehow she too would manage to slip from my grasp.”

-Yejide

Finally, think about this: can love be enough to combat marital issues?

Okay Byeeee!!